Monday, July 30, 2012

I HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE

I have seen the future and it is me.

Pieced together with former bits of my old self, soldered bits of metal and wires.
My new, more productive, stronger SEXIER self is ready to go.
















The operation wasn't really that bad, I mean my thumbs hurt so bad I was glad to see them go!
These new Opposables are top notch.
Now I can text all day, the way I should be able to.


The new breasts are ok I guess, but they seem unnaturally high up on my chest and they kind of stick out, (at precisely the correct angle to attract maximum attention).

I'm waiting to get my lungs done, I kind of ruined them early on in the century when people used to smoke through their mouths! Times sure have changed.


But these thumbs are really just incredible.  I can be on the computer, coordinate my closet, text, CLIMB A ROPE, etc all in a day and not even feel it.  Really.


So since I'm the future of you, I'd like to say to all of you back there that don't worry about using up your human body parts.  Go for it!  It doesn't matter, cause you don't have to be a fucked up human forever.  You can even choose to be part one, that's what I did.

These thumbs will outlast everything else on my body, even these Minurium breasts will be gone before the thumbs will.  Once I get more replacements, maybe I won't really ever die.  I'll rust, I'll break down, but it won't hurt.
Will it now.



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Thursday, July 5, 2012

GUTS


Findings: 


Liver is diffusely homogeneous and normal in echotexture, size, without focal hepatic finding, intrahepatic bile duct dilatation.

Portal vein flow is hepatopedal.


Gallbladder is within normal limits without gallstone, gallbladder wall thickening, pericholicystic fluid.




Visualized extrahepatic bile duct measures 0.27cm, within normal 
limits for age.




Visualized pancreas is diffusely homogeneous in echotexture, normal in size without appreciable ductal dilatation.

Spleen is grossly homogenous in echotexture, normal in contour, size, measuring 11cm.


Both kidneys are grossly normal in size, echotexture, without 

hydronephrosis.




Right kidney measures 11cm.
                           Left kidney measures 10cm .

Visualized abdominal aorta is grossly.




Visualized inferior vena cava is grossly unremarkable.

There is no appreciable free fluid.